"Stephanie" came to see me after discovering that her attorney husband "Sam" had been visiting prostitutes during his lunch hour.She learned this one night while up late with their sick toddler.When she confronted Sam about her discovery, he showed no remorse, and in fact blamed his sexploits on her, stating that her lack of sexual experimentation drove him to have sex with strangers.Besides rejecting her sexually, Sam showed little interest in their daughter.He's a good man and a good father, but I'm not attracted to him at all.Our interests are quite divergent, we barely talk about anything other than big stuff (bills, vacations, errands, etc.), he hasn't come on to me in years, and I don't think I'd respond to him if he came on to me today.Some just have a hard time adjusting to a new reality that includes a stepmom.So here is a list of the most common reasons your husband’s ex acts like she hates you. She doesn’t hate you, she hates what you represent: The failure of her marriage, the break up of her family, the woman her ex-husband became a better man for, the fear that she might have ruined her child’s life by not being able to make the marriage work. She’s afraid her kids will love you more than they love her. This could include showing up at a parent-teacher conference, forcing the kids to call you mom (yes, that does actually happen), calling the kids “mine,” posting pictures of the kids on your Facebook page, trying to co-parent with her by responding to messages sent to your husband, etc… She perceives you as overstepping boundaries by participating in events she believes are reserved for “mom” and participating in events not only reserved for mom, but that are “firsts.” These might include: taking your stepdaughter to buy her first bra or getting her first haircut; participating in any sort of cosmetic experience (hair color/new hair style/ mani-pedi day); talking to her about the birds and the bees; painting her nails or coloring/cutting her hair the way like it or similar to yours (even if your step is a teen and she requests this, it could still push mom’s buttons). For a long time she could just ignore the painful feelings that accompany divorce. She may even be remarried, but never actually grieved the loss of her marriage and family. When she looks at your strengths, all she sees are her weaknesses.
I'm wrestling with whether to ask my husband for a divorce.
He was rarely home; when he wasn't spending time with other women, he was clocking long hours at the law firm, hoping to make partner. "But I think you should take a year to figure it out." Why Partners of Sex Addicts Benefit from the One-Year Rule The discovery of a partner's sexual compulsivity is a wake-up call. Addicts choose to cheat; they are not driven to cheat by their partners.
Stephanie had consulted with a divorce attorney and was told that she was entitled to a generous settlement package and monthly support. If both partners are committed to recovery, the marriage could actually be transformed into a real union marked by genuine intimacy and integrity. Unless physical abuse is present, or children's safety is threatened, sex addiction therapists recommend that partners spend a year in treatment before deciding whether to stay or go. This usually involves individual therapy, 12-step programs such as SAA, and, depending on the severity of the acting-out behaviors, an inpatient or intensive outpatient treatment program. The first step in an addict's recovery is to take responsibility for hurting his partner and threatening his family's stability. These may include affairs, prostitutes, massage parlors, chat rooms, masturbating to porn. Disclosures are facilitated by therapists in couples sessions.
Daily Devotionals from Charles Stanley delivered to your door for FREE!
Show your love for Israel and get your FREE download of Israel 101 instantly!